A-Whoooo Arrrrre A-Youuuuuu?

Surely this is a question most of us will ask of ourselves at some point in our lives? Surely it is one that many will ask on a regular basis...

It is a topic that has come up in conversation quite a few times, with regard to whether one can ever really, trully know oneself, or another... My stance has generally been that (at least at this time in my life, when so many lives are being lived: Home, School, Uni, Work... different worlds within worlds) I am not sure who I am...

I know the 'me' that lives in my head, and generally thinks too much and is a little bit lazy. I know the 'me' at home, amongst my family. I know the 'me' with Uni friends, and I know the 'me' with school friends. However, these people do not always coincide... not because I am ever being fake at any point, pretending or putting on a show... but simply because, and I am sure many of you will have to admit that you do this too, we do act differently according to the people we are with. So what is the relevance of this? Well, if you are all these different people, albeit with some definite similarities, how do you decide who the real 'you' is? Is this a concept we can really uphold, or is it a pointless, self-indulgent task we carry out to try and form some glorified image of ourselves as decent, generous, moral, intelligent, kind, unselfish human beings?

Ultimately, I think we all have an image of the person we would like to be... a list of attributes we would like people to name in their descriptions of us (funny, kind, intelligent, generous, deep, sensitive... etc etc, you know the drill). However, and not to be pessimistic here, I am sure we will all agree that none of us really fit that picture. Maybe we shouldn't ever... we must always strive to be a better person than the one we are right now.

Anyway, back to the 'who-are-you' issue. How would you describe yourself... by rather external, or physical attributes such as 'Psychology student at Durham, female, brown hair, home town in Devon, works at Tchibo etc...' or more mentalistic attributes such as 'caring, intelligent, thoughtful... etc'? Maybe a mixture of the two? What is it that really makes you you? There are probably about 200 female psychology students in Durham with brown hair AT LEAST. Some of them may well come from Devon. Whilst I know none of them work at Tchibo, I know that 4 other people do. So this cannot suffice in a description of me... but then the same goes for the other attributes.

Maybe it is a combination of the two? Or maybe it is just something that will never be expressable in words? Maybe it just really does not matter.

The last one though, I think I will say just isn't true, at least for many people- why do you think Psychology is such a lucrative business to get in to? Why have so many people gone on some mission to 'find themselves'....? I just don't think they need to go all the way to India. Rather, take a good look in the mirror, have a good think about your life, your beliefs and your values, and go and talk to a good friend. Ultimately... the looks? They constantly change... so can't sum you up. Your friends? Hopefully you will be luck enough that they don't change all that often, but the relationships you have with them will, and their view of you will develop over time as you do. As will your personal view of yourself.

We are not born complete. We grow... throughout our lives. When our bodies stop getting taller at 18, we... and whatever it is that makes us, us... continues to develop. Our experiences shape the people we become, we learn things, we assimilate. If we are lucky enough to know some extraordinary people, they too may shape who we become. Maybe you are lucky enough to know an ordinary person, who will have an extraordinary impact on your life... No, scrap that... everyone we deal with will ultimately have some bearing on who you are. Some people more so than others, that is all...

So what can I conclude from this? Everything and nothing. It's basically a load of drivel, which means nothing, dressed up to sound a bit pretty. But at the same time, it has given me opportunity to think, appreciate and I suppose accept. We must take the good with the bad, learn from it all, and hopefully come out the other end as better people. Appreciate all those who are in your life because no matter who they are, what they are or how old they are, I guarantee you they will be able to teach you something in life. But most importantly, we must accept the person that we are, see the flaws, but also see the plus points. The striving for something greater in oneself doesn't mean you began as a failure- it just means that you are human.