I am here, on my bed, gazing at the marvel that is a clean room. Freshly hoovered, cleared, sorted and generally dealt with. It's a wonderful sight, and a brilliant feeling. This said... it took me all of 40 minutes to do. I wish the arrangement of self could be so speedily completed. I'm in a very strange mood tonight... and cannot decide whether life and thoughts etc are very complex, or really very simple. I can't decide whether I'm feeling content, anxious, excited, nostalgic or what... I just don't know. I'm not despairing, I'm in a pretty good mood. But equally, I confuse myself! I would like to be able to order my mind in the way that I did my room... to hoover up the dust, throw out the rubbish and arrange the various scraps of paper, on which are scrawled all the pieces that make up my life. A quandry indeed, but on the other hand, I sometimes feel that I should stop questioning, accept it for what it is and 'carry on regardless'. I don't know if any of these sentences actually flow together, but if they don't it's just an example of the broken nature of a thought... of a life, really.
But anyway
enough of the rubbish! I'm starting to get cold (I'm on the bed, not in it), and my elbows are hurting (I'm leaning on them), and I am tired... so I shall say goodnight, with a question...
Are we complex... or are we actually very simple? Should we continue to question?
I guess one way that you could look at it is, if I never tidied my room, eventually I would a) not be able to open the door, b) not be able to find anything and c) very likely be plagued by insects and rodents. Not a pleasant thought...
4 comments:
I don't know if this help but this is what I think.
I think we are very very very complex, perhaps more than we even realise. But I think that because of this there comes a point where yes you just have to accept that, and accept that you don't understand everything that you do/say/feel let alone how other people act.
And from there you just have to go with life gradually making small steps so that when you look back you realise you have actually walked quite along way.
That sounds like some crappy self help book, and it really isn't meant to! I always find it helps though to try and take my head out onto a piece of paper. Kind of like Dumbledore's Pensive...
Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts...(i sure hope a mathmo reads this). I think (to take the analogy too far) we spend time treating the real as imaginary and the imaginary as real. We dream up hypothetical and non-existent problems, then often fail to think about the ones in front of our faces.
'We dream up hypothetical and non-existent problems'...I don't know if you realise how true you are!
Away from the deep end of this blog - I find my tidy room alittle unsettling! It doesn't seem like mine when its tidy!
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