More from Up North.

Still in Durham. What have I done the last few days?

Urm... cant remember when I last updated, buuuut... Kathy and Adam came to visit which was great, saw Oli yesterday briefly which was nice, went to the cinema with and stayed at Jo's house last night which was fun and did a trial shift at Persona today which was scary. I dont think Ill get the job, because lots of people applied, and a) I have no previous experience and b) my trial shift basically consisted of me doing nothing for three hours, because they were having a really dead day. Still, the girls there were very nice, the clothes very pretty... not to mention the shoes...

Hmmn.

That is all. For now. x

The One With The Brother And Sister

Not really copying Andy, have just watched a hell of a lot of Friends in the past week- like three series worth. I know. I know. This is why I'm hoping these jobs are going to come through. I put my application into Monsoon today... fingers double-triple crossed (ouch, but totally worth it).

Anyway, today (after a mishap with a cancelled train) Adam and Kathy, my brother and sister, arrived for a long weekend... yay! Having dropped off stuff at my house (yes- my house!) we went, with Taj, to Dynasty for a yummy chinese buffet, which was lovely. Then we walked around Durham a bit, came back... and here I am in Taj's house. He and Tom and Adam are engrossed in a geeky RPG gamey thing. Anyway- BOYS!

Tomorrow we are hoping to go to the metrocentre... which will be fun. So, for now... Byyyeee!! xxx

The Job Search

Still in Durham, still looking for jobs....

Although progress has been made on that front, in that I have actually applied to places... and plan to apply to more, and I have a CV (though not very impressive).

Biggest news is... MONSOON have a job going... this is a job I would kill for...

Seriously. I would. THINK of the staff discount. Anyway, I'm gonna go fill out the application form now, so byeee x

I am

back in Durham now.

Up, up and away...

Well here we are... tomorrow I head off on a train to Durham, with a ridiculously large amount of stuff, half of which I imagine I will never use. It's exciting- I can't wait to see the house, and daunting- living on my own for a month, and sad- saying goodbye to the family for who knows how long. Hopefully though, Adam and Kathy will be up to visit for the weekend, bringing with them... more stuff! That would be nice. Anyway, it's only a quickie 'cause I need my sleep (haha)... Just wanted to say byebye (and Hi to those of you newly returned) and etc etc. Don't know when I will be posting again... could be a couple days, a couple weeks, a couple months. Who knows... here's to the great unknown! May we embrace and relish it. xxx

Nightmare in Packingsville

Ok... I have about 35 hours until I am meant to be up and ready to head off to Durham. However, I am, as you may be aware, terrible at packing. Maybe worse than the me trying to choose an outfit kind of bad. No, nothing beats that. Anyway... yes, I am very bad. This is for two reasons. I begin the packing with the greatest of intentions... to pack light, and to pack neat. These, however, become my downfall. I get bored of folding, and indecisive as to what I really need. This means that my suitcase gets overstuffed, untidily, and full to burst with things I'll probably never need.

I am aware of this fault, but am helpless to do anything to stop it. It is just who I am. In this way I hate packing. On the other side of the coin, however, I quite enjoy it. I can turn the music up loud, let my mind wander as it's not a particularly engaging task, and get excited about where I am going.

This is the ambivalence of me.

x

Apologies

Sorry if i have come across in a very bad mood for the past few days. The truth is, I haven't been in a bad mood.. more of an emotional rollercoaster from content, to annoyed, to angry, to excited, to worried, to upset, to asleep. So... it's not really been a representational view. But nevermind. I haven't properly blogged for a while but I a) can't remember enough to and b) can't be bothered enough to go through my daily excitements (of which, I'm sure you can imagine, there are many... not).

On Tuesday of last week (as I blogged... I think)... we were planning to go down to Polzeath beach in Cornwall for the day (it's about an hour from here)... we being me, my mum, Adam, Kathy and Oscar, Diana (a friend of the family), Zander (her 15yr old son) and Nick (Adam's friend). However, fate was not on our side... or at least BMW weren't, and Diana's car broke down on the way. So we (after sitting on the roadside for 3 hours waiting for Mr. AA) turned round and spent the day at home instead. So our trip to Cornwall happened the following day, and despite being very windy it was a brilliant day, lots of fun in the sun and the sand and the sea... from the sand castles, to the fish and chips, to the bodyboarding to the pub meal in the evening, all very nice.

The next day I had an old friend from school, Steph, come over and we had a great time catching up on life, and realising how many people we had forgotten about!

What else has happened...
Yesterday... or the day before, I forget.. Diana and Zander went home, and Oscar was picked up by his father, to go on holiday for the next three weeks. The house seems very quiet now, but it is bliss. I have revelled in the peace, and consequently, have watched about NINE films since he left. OH DEAR. BUT BUT BUT it was a good thing as I rediscovered films that I love (such as Blow, which is Johnny Depp as a drug dealer... but really rather sad story) and discovered new films (such as The Notebook, which was brilliant... really liked it). Good all round.

Now my MOST exciting news is that I will be in Durham on Thursday- for the foreseeable future! Yay! Hopefully that entails me settling in to Crossview, and getting a job, and generally being organised.

This has been a long post, so I will leave you all now, with a final note of appreciation... to the wonderfulness that is.... fluffy socks. They are so satisfying. :) x

Grr

People can be so fucking awful.

Sometimes I really hate them.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Sometimes I really hate people. I'm sorry... I know that sounds bad, but they can really annoy me. I'm sure that I annoy people too, so don't feel too bad, but really! Argh! Sometimes it just pisses me off.

Grrrrrr.

And whoever keeps putting random Anonymous comments on my old blogs saying 'check out this link' etc could they stop it. Thankyou.

That is all.

Take Two...

Okay, so yesterday we didn't get to the beach, because one of the cars we were going in broke down. We were stuck on the motorway in the heat for three hours instead. Oh well. I still had a pleasant day playing ping-pong, swimming and stuff. Today we are going to head for the beach again, and luckily the weather is still brilliant. So here's hoping... x

Oops...

Apparently SO exciting I had to post it twice...

Exciting...

Today we are all going down to Polzeath beach in Cornwall. The sun is shining and it should be brilliant! Yay! xxx

Exciting...

Today we are all going down to Polzeath beach in Cornwall. The sun is shining and it should be brilliant! Yay! xxx

Hello one and all

You see, I told you I would be fine and I am. I have had a very enjoyable day... First going to Spittuwick (spelling is probably wrong) on Dartmoor, which is a place on the River Dart where you can picnic, swim, and (if the mood takes you) jump off a cliff into the water (the mood didn't take me, but I had a nice paddle around in the shallows). Anyway, that was all very nice. This evening my mum, Diana and I went to and outdoor production of 'Twelfth Night', which was BRILLIANT. Really well done, and in the most beautiful of settings. I feel very sorry for Malvolio though...
Bye, x

Today I discovered...

• If in the right mood, a single glass of red wine is enough to make me feel blurry at the edges.
• Boys really can't multitask (according to my 6 year old brother 'It's difficult doing 2 things at once')
• I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment.

4th August

I'm fed up. With everything. But I'm not eactly sure what to do about it.

Thursday (honest)

I'm really just blogging now in order to not miss a day. I don't have anything to say, or really feel like blogging.

I don't know why this wave of negativity has hit me, or what it means, but oh well. I shall (to be really corny and continue with a metaphor) wait for the tide to turn.

Here's to better things, to being in Durham soonish, and to... the future? Whatever it may hold.

Everything seems so close, but yet so far away. x

Some of the things that I love...

The feel of new pyjamas.
Dancing round the kitchen, with the radio turned up loud (and nobody's watching).
Singing at the top of my voice (when no-one is listening).
Falling into a comfy, cosy bed after a tiring, but pleasant, day.
Laughing with my sister in the swimming pool.
Watching the clouds, whilst on my back on the trampoline, listening to music.
Playing the piano and getting it right.
Hugs.
Surprises (good, nice ones).
A really good film. Okay... any film that will make me smile, think, cry, happy etc. Any film.
A really good book.
Travelling. Anywhere. Seeing new places, meeting new people, learning new things.
The smell of my mum's moisturiser (it makes me feel like a young child again, and safe).
Having my hair stroked (as above).
Family. When we are getting on.
The smell of horses.
Chocolate.
Walking round the lanes and footpaths near my house, appreciating the beauty of Devon.
Penguins. They make me laugh.

I think that will do for now. I don't want to go overboard on all this soppiness... though I probably already have! Sorry! xxx

Upon the subject of nothing...

Another day of nothingness, so another day of nothing to write in a blog. Today I am feeling... blurgh. I think that best describes it... it's not positive, but it doesn't mean it's negative either. It just is. I just am.

Having seeked advice as to what I should write about in today's blog, the answer I was given was the rather philosophical 'who knows'. Taken in a literal way, this statement, or question rather, is intriguing. It does not define what it is that is known, and there does not seem to be an apparent answer. I don't know who, as otherwise I would not ask the question. Evidently you don't know who, or you would have told me already. Who indeed, does know.

I know I'm not making sense any longer, but I had very little sleep last night, and this is an act of desperation to try and fill out an empty space when all I have to fill it with is, well, nothing.

That is my problem... nothingness.

Goodnight, x