Take Two...

Okay, so yesterday we didn't get to the beach, because one of the cars we were going in broke down. We were stuck on the motorway in the heat for three hours instead. Oh well. I still had a pleasant day playing ping-pong, swimming and stuff. Today we are going to head for the beach again, and luckily the weather is still brilliant. So here's hoping... x

Oops...

Apparently SO exciting I had to post it twice...

Exciting...

Today we are all going down to Polzeath beach in Cornwall. The sun is shining and it should be brilliant! Yay! xxx

Exciting...

Today we are all going down to Polzeath beach in Cornwall. The sun is shining and it should be brilliant! Yay! xxx

Hello one and all

You see, I told you I would be fine and I am. I have had a very enjoyable day... First going to Spittuwick (spelling is probably wrong) on Dartmoor, which is a place on the River Dart where you can picnic, swim, and (if the mood takes you) jump off a cliff into the water (the mood didn't take me, but I had a nice paddle around in the shallows). Anyway, that was all very nice. This evening my mum, Diana and I went to and outdoor production of 'Twelfth Night', which was BRILLIANT. Really well done, and in the most beautiful of settings. I feel very sorry for Malvolio though...
Bye, x

Today I discovered...

• If in the right mood, a single glass of red wine is enough to make me feel blurry at the edges.
• Boys really can't multitask (according to my 6 year old brother 'It's difficult doing 2 things at once')
• I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment.

4th August

I'm fed up. With everything. But I'm not eactly sure what to do about it.

Thursday (honest)

I'm really just blogging now in order to not miss a day. I don't have anything to say, or really feel like blogging.

I don't know why this wave of negativity has hit me, or what it means, but oh well. I shall (to be really corny and continue with a metaphor) wait for the tide to turn.

Here's to better things, to being in Durham soonish, and to... the future? Whatever it may hold.

Everything seems so close, but yet so far away. x

Some of the things that I love...

The feel of new pyjamas.
Dancing round the kitchen, with the radio turned up loud (and nobody's watching).
Singing at the top of my voice (when no-one is listening).
Falling into a comfy, cosy bed after a tiring, but pleasant, day.
Laughing with my sister in the swimming pool.
Watching the clouds, whilst on my back on the trampoline, listening to music.
Playing the piano and getting it right.
Hugs.
Surprises (good, nice ones).
A really good film. Okay... any film that will make me smile, think, cry, happy etc. Any film.
A really good book.
Travelling. Anywhere. Seeing new places, meeting new people, learning new things.
The smell of my mum's moisturiser (it makes me feel like a young child again, and safe).
Having my hair stroked (as above).
Family. When we are getting on.
The smell of horses.
Chocolate.
Walking round the lanes and footpaths near my house, appreciating the beauty of Devon.
Penguins. They make me laugh.

I think that will do for now. I don't want to go overboard on all this soppiness... though I probably already have! Sorry! xxx

Upon the subject of nothing...

Another day of nothingness, so another day of nothing to write in a blog. Today I am feeling... blurgh. I think that best describes it... it's not positive, but it doesn't mean it's negative either. It just is. I just am.

Having seeked advice as to what I should write about in today's blog, the answer I was given was the rather philosophical 'who knows'. Taken in a literal way, this statement, or question rather, is intriguing. It does not define what it is that is known, and there does not seem to be an apparent answer. I don't know who, as otherwise I would not ask the question. Evidently you don't know who, or you would have told me already. Who indeed, does know.

I know I'm not making sense any longer, but I had very little sleep last night, and this is an act of desperation to try and fill out an empty space when all I have to fill it with is, well, nothing.

That is my problem... nothingness.

Goodnight, x

Rain

Today it finally DOWNPOURED after weeks of glorious sunshine and heat (okay, so it may have been mildly drizzly the last couple days, but not proper rain)... that being said, the weather had very little bearing on my activities today as they were all (other than swimming and ponies) indoor orientated.

There was the sleeping. Then after the sleeping came the MSNing, email checking and breakfast/lunch eating. Then came a little mess around on the keyboard (sorry... "Digital Piano"). Then (as we had the house to ourselves) watching television with Oscar (Top Cat, Jerry Springer and the Munsters... in that order). Then came some swimming. Then came the rain. Then came more 'piano', more internet (online games with oscar) and more food. Following from this was the return of mum and Kathy, the cooking of supper, and the putting of Oscar to bed. Then the eating of supper, and watching of television. Newspaper reading. Then clothes changing. Now this.

Wow. It's amazing how if you bulk it out nothing at all can seem like quite a lot. Interesting. x

A Longer Post

As somebody objected to the length of my previous post, I shall elaborate more upon what I said earlier. That, and I always intended to reblog- I just wasn't sure I would have time/energy to do...

Lots and lots and lots has happened since I last properly posted. So much I can't even remember it all. Here is a brief rundown (as far as memory allows...) On Friday I made my way down (sideways really) to Norfolk and Meghan.. where I spent a very enjoyable couple of days eating ice cream, playing scrabble, making margheritas, shopping and watching (the, I now know, INCREDIBLE) Grey's Anatomy. Then, on Sunday, I made my way to London, and stayed the night with Ellie in Norbury. Where, incidentally, she lives. We watched films, ate more ice cream and drank vodka. Fun, fun, fun. On Monday I crossed London (having stopped in Croydon to see 'The Break Up' with Ellie- a bit of a stupid ending, I thought) (the film, not the weekend)... to Chiswick where my Aunt Sue now lives, and we went for a meal and had a good catch up which was very nice.

On Tuesday I returned to Devon. Here I have spent my time doing 'house stuff' like walking dogs, and entertaining a 'now on holiday' Oscar, and cooking... and swimming, watching Grey's Anatomy series 2 (thanks Meg!) and erm... no that's about it.

Sadly, I won't be off again tomorrow to Chester to see Tim and Ditt, and Tim's friend Ruth, as I, and my babysitting skills are needed here... Oh well. Such is life.

I'm in a weird positive isn't the world a really crap place to live mood. Strange

That's all folks, xxx

I'm back...

boo.

Muddled

I can't decide how I feel today, it could be... happy, sad, sorry, tired, content, excited, anxious, sick, worried, sleepy, warm, peaceful, cross, jealous, upset, lazy.

Maybe it is all of these things, I don't know.

Bye, x

That's better...

Hello people. Sorry I've been a bit of a misery guts recently... I promise to pull my self together, get my socks on, hang on in there and all those other cliche thingamajiggys. Thanks to all of you for being so nice to me. Anyway.. yes, so life is looking more positive... The sun is shining, I'm going away this weekend, I have the house to myself tonight, and there is a sale on at Monsoon. Hooray! xxx

Today...

Sorry.
Smile.
Stupid.

Sometimes life just makes you want to give up

Heartbreaking. Fuck.

Nothing much to say...

Just to make a change, eh? I thought, as I weirdly missed out posting yesterday, that I'd better do it now, in case life gets in the way again tonight. Only problem is, I've only been up for forty minutes or so, and in that time have only had time to have a shower and get dressed. Which doesn't exactly lead to an interesting description, or a readable blog.

So, what can I write about? I don't know... maybe you can use my lack of blog, as a space in which you can reflect upon stuff... or something. How does that sound?

Bye for now, xxx

"Swings and Roundabouts"

It's odd: the way that life works in 'swings and roundabouts'. How you can be up one minute, and down the next. On top of the world, only for life to firmly pull the carpet from underneath your feet. The last few days, and weeks really, have been very rollercoaster ride-ish: swinging from dizzying highs, falling to desperate lows. Today, though, I have decided that an optimistic view is the only one to take, so I will forget, for now, about my worries and woes, and concetrate for a minute upon what has happened today that is good, or great!

1) I spent a lovely day with my sister, Kathy, moseying around town
2) We went to the cinema, which is always fun
3) And saw Johnny Depp (on screen, not in person sadly!)... yay!
4) I (fingers crossed) extended my overdraft which should mean £500 more- woo!
5) While taking the dogs for a walk I was reminded just how brilliant and beautiful my home is
6) While putting Oscar to bed I was reminded just how brilliant and bright he is
7) I had a good philosophical discussion with my Mum and Aunt, which was nice
8) I bumped into an old friend in town, and she later called me and that was great!
9) We arranged to meet up next week, which is something to look forward to!

You see... without me even realising it, there is SO MUCH for me to be thankful for, and to smile about... It's not until you start to concentrate on the positive that you realise, no matter how down and out you are feeling, there is always, ALWAYS, something in life to smile about... and it doesn't matter how small it is, or how seemingly meaningless.
And after all, one of the best things about life is being able to smile.
Therefore.. everyone SMILE! I love you all, xxx
Even Johnny is smiling...

Picture post... sunny Devon!

My house, and garden... sadly the sunlight has made this picture gloomy. Oh, and that's Moley the dog in the foreground.
A castle/tower thing nearby... apparently you can get married there, which I think would be amazing! It's so pretty.

A view. Typical Devon. Lovely sunny day too! My house is in there somewhere... you can just see the rooftop I think!
And, erm... another view.

Now you see why I love this green and pleasant land.
Especially when the weather is great! Love, xxx